Why is marriage so important? God designed marriage to reflect his relationship with his people (Christians). Our relationship with Christ is to be permanent, forgiving, loving and nurturing. Without our relationship with Christ, we would be going to hell. Without a good marriage relationship, you might as well be in hell. If you want more details about the importance of purity or sanctity of marriage, look into my Chastity and Divorce papers.

Many people claim my wife and I got married too young (I was 18 my wife was 21). Most young couples married at that age do not last. The difference is how well we knew each other. We had known each other for three years before our wedding. She has spent one of those years in Germany as an exchange student and our relationship survived even that! I know many friends who married after only a number of months of dating. My question to these people is, "How do you know that person is right for you? Do you KNOW it, or do you feel it?"

The problem with the modern marriage situation in the U.S. has many parts. To begin with, people do not get to know their future spouse long enough before the wedding. I watch the young girls in my classes talk about boys, and talk and talk and talk about boys. Their fixation is part hormonal, and part due to a lack of love at home. They are so anxious to get married (or at least find 'the one') that they do not search carefully.

I also listen to the guys. They talk about cars, guns, football and on occasion, they will chat about how cute their girlfriend's butt is. If I had my druthers, I council these impatient girls to dump those worthless guys! Too many men in this society have become rotten to the core; the worst a man can become: overpowering and selfish.

Too many people are 'settling' for a spouse. They feel they've looked around long enough and now are going to choose someone. All to often, they end up choosing poorly. How many women pick a selfish, jealous or abusive boyfriend for their husband? Then they get a divorce, and you can see the results of that everywhere you look.

The second problem is that the marriage covenant isn't what it used to be. God intended this 'contract' to be permanent. He called married couples 'one flesh' which is not separable without much pain and permanent damage. People enter this contract like any other; if someone doesn't like the way it's working out, they can simply end the relationship.

As a young college student, I worked with an unmarried woman who was living with her boyfriend. In our discussions about the advisability of such an arrangement, the question was asked 'What difference does a signed piece of paper make'. I must agree. Today, it means little to nothing. Why would you care if you are married if divorce is so easy? But this was not the designer's intentions. God intended marriage to be permanent, immovable, fixed and bolstered by the couple's love. Instead, it has become like fast food; cheap, quick and 'Your Way'. This lack of stability only lends more strength to the divorce movement in our country.

The final reason for our poor marriage track record is a basic premise of the Christian religion. Humans are flawed and desperately wicked. We are so selfish, we could leave the woman who gave us so much to 'start fresh' with another, cheaper relationship. We give in too easy to our desires. It is so bad, that it has become hard to find good spouses. I tell girls to find good guys and not to settle for anything less than great. The problem is, there aren't very many out there. As a nation, we have become so selfish, that we no longer have enough good people to make up a culture without divorce. It is an inevitability.

So how do we overcome this hurtle? The answer lies in Jesus and Him alone. If we divorce because we have bad spouses, and have bad spouses because we were impatient in our choices and we were impatient in our choices because we are sinful, then the only recourse is to become not-sinful. And finally, the only way to do that, is to learn about Jesus and have him come into your life to help make you a better person. Then perhaps we may have some hope.